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That is the essence of mental illness: not being able to access the reasoned, judgment part of your brain.”Margaret Sinclair was one of five daughters born to a Cabinet member and his wife.She was, in her own words, “a highly sexualized teenager” who drove a 1966 Beetle, smoked pot, took mescaline, and was obsessed with Keats.By the 60s he had discovered politics, and his lithe good looks and easy way with crowds made him a J. “He just loved to date actresses and singers and ballerinas, just for the weekend or a glass of champagne. But I didn’t mean ”Margaret and Pierre continued to date secretly, and then, in March 1971, they eloped to a small church in North Vancouver, where the 22-year-old bride carried a bouquet of white daisies and wore a gown she had made herself.But this young Margaret Trudeau, like Grace Kelly had before her, found herself unprepared for ceremonial duties and blindsided by intrusive press stories about everything from her pregnancies to her wardrobe.Ryan O’Neal, in those days, was still one of Hollywood’s favorite bad boys, a rake with sandy hair and a Pepsodent smile.He had already dispatched the hearts of Ursula Andress, Bianca Jagger, two wives, and a host of others.“But the feminists had been outraged for the way I had been treated,” she says. Elizabeth Taylor called saying, ‘I’m wearing short! (What no one knew was that she had eaten some hallucinogenic peyote beforehand.) The Trouble with Margaret had actually started long before.
The outside world saw the dervish—the poster girl for the 70s’ louche free-for-all as she sipped champagne at the Savoy, roared through shopping sprees at Chloe, Ungaro, and Charles Jourdan, and sought love and sex from powerful men.“Self-loathing is the biggest hurdle you have to get over,” she says on the lanai, taking a sip of tea.Because he reminded me so much of his mother.”No one knew just how vulnerable Margaret had been.Because for much of her life she’d hidden a terrible secret, even from herself: that she was suffering from bipolar disorder, undiagnosed and untreated.On the living-room wall is a framed to-do list dated May 22, 1980, written by John Lennon six months before he was murdered outside the Dakota. She has a head of wavy chestnut hair and wears bright-orange sandals, her toenails painted to match.Her sparkling eyes are sea blue, full of life and mirth and sadness.